TV Licensing goons were attacked over 300 times in the last three years, according to news recently disseminated by its PR harlots.
Of course, as those figures were released by TV Licensing, which has a nasty habit of bending the truth, they probably aren't very accurate and there is certainly no way of verifying them. Even if those figures were accurate, highly unlikely as that is, we can be entirely confident that TV Licensing's definition of an assault is different to most people's.
In the past we have seen TV Licensing goons falsely screaming assault over the most trivial of verbal disagreements. We'd also highlight the fact that several former TV Licensing goons have used that employment to facilitate their depraved crimes - convicted paedophile Daniel Lishman and convicted rapist Gary Catterick immediately spring to mind.
Let us just assume, for one hypothetical moment, that TV Licensing is correct with its claim of 300 goon assaults in the last 3 years. According to a current TV Licensing threatogram its goons knock on around 10,000 doors every day. That would equate to around 10,950,000 TV Licensing visits in a 3 year period, which works out at one goon assault for every 36,500 visits (or 0.003 percent if you prefer).
TV Licensing would claim, quite rightly, that even one goon assault was one too many. However, do not be under the misapprehension that every door-knocking TV Licensing goon is walking around with a halo and angel wings, as they most certainly are not. Such a modest assault rate is perhaps surprising given that some TV Licensing goons appear to be actively seeking confrontation.
Remember the golden rule: TV Licensing cannot be trusted and should be totally ignored. If you are confronted by one of these pariahs the best thing is to say nothing and close the door. TV Licensing goons are to be pitied rather than assaulted.
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Edit (30/3/18): Poor maths removed.
3 comments:
I know of one true episode it happened to me just under 12 months ago he said he was scared of dogs and as I was just coming back from taking him for a walk I opened the door and told the dog to get in, I myself wasn't going in but he took it as an invitation to enter and shoved the door out of my hand within a second the dog had turned but I had pulled him back just as quick and slung him into the communal stairs opposite. I gave him a barrage of abusive language before leaving him there and going in and locking the door. The police turned up and asked me to step outside to which I refused I thus played the recording I had of him saying he was scared of dogs and told them I wanted to press charges of trying to illegally enter the property. In the end, the police left saying he would have to bring a prosecution himself if he wanted to take it further, and they had told him they had heard him say he was scared of dogs in a recording.
"...26 crimes per 1,000 members of the population, which equates to a violent crime rate of 0.036 percent." - or for the mathematical purists, perhaps a rate of 2.6 per cent.?
Ha ha! Well spotted. I suppose I'm going to have to amend this now.
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