Have you ever wanted a job where you can threaten people in their own homes, bully money from the vulnerable and infirm and pretend you have more powers than you actually do?
Unfortunately ISIS isn't holding its next UK recruitment drive until the new year.
In the meantime Capita TV Licensing, which is contracted to administer and enforce the TV licence system on behalf of the BBC, is waiting to hear from you.
No qualifications, life experience, personality or communication skills? Don't worry, as none of these are essential prerequisites of working for the nation's most despised revenue generation racket. Every day we see videos of TV Licensing goons barely able to string a coherent sentence together.
Got a criminal record? Never fear, as that won't automatically bar you from TV Licensing employment either, even though you'll be visiting the homes of some of the most vulnerable people in society.
TV Licensing has even employed fraudsters and rapists in the past, so a few minor misdemeanours are neither here nor there. A proven track record of obtaining results through deception might even enhance your application, as a significant part of the role is trying to sell TV licences to people who don't legally need them. Technically speaking, a TV licence is only required for those properties where equipment is used to receive TV programmes, but if that's your attitude then this job's probably not for you.
You'll be working in a challenging sales environment, as according to the BBC's own figures more than four out of five people who claim they don't need a TV licence are actually telling the truth.
You'll be working in a challenging sales environment, as according to the BBC's own figures more than four out of five people who claim they don't need a TV licence are actually telling the truth.
TV Licensing goons have a minimum performance target of obtaining one "Code 8" prosecution statement every hour. If they don't make the grade they face the real prospect of disciplinary action and ultimately dismissal; if they exceed that target they face the real prospect of earning healthy commission payments on top of their modest basic salary.
Is it any wonder we see so many examples of TV Licensing goons telling lies, hard selling and behaving aggressively as they visit legitimately licence-free properties?
Make no mistake that TV Licensing goons are incentivised to achieve results by whatever means necessary.
Their livelihoods depend on it.
8 comments:
"Generous Commission". speaks absolute volumes.
Best blog post yet.
Quite worried about that Matt, as writing it I didn't think it was anything special!
http://www.totaljobs.com/Capita_TV_Licensing-jobs
Plus you get a good chance of becoming a Youtube star.
Very true.
Paul Beale could have his own mini-series by now.
You can also increase the value of your motor,aparently famous cars cars become more valuable
It's sad, and appalling how what were public service occupations have been outsourced to the corrupt private sector with the consequences only too apparent - fraud, perjury and theft to name a few. The old GPO TV licence investigators were so-and-so's but they were Civil Servants and generally honest. Their jobs depended on it.
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