TV Licence and Radio

A surprising number of visitors come to us seeking advice about whether they need a TV licence to listen to radio.

No joke.

The law requires that a licence is obtained for those properties where equipment is used to receive television programme services. In simple terms that means you need a licence to watch TV programmes on any channel available to others in the UK at the same time.

Many moons ago, in a time long before lecherous old perverts stalked the corridors of TV Centre, there was something called the Broadcast Receiving Licence. At its 1922 inception the licence covered the reception of radio programmes, as there was no television service at that stage. In 1946 the licence was extended to cover the reception of VHF 405-line monochrome television programmes. In 1964 the first UHF-625 line colour television programmes were broadcast on BBC Two. On 1st January 1968 a "colour supplement" was added to the licence fee for the first time. On 1st February 1971 to radio-only portion of the licence was abolished and the TV-only licence came into existence. That's the way it has been ever since.

Contrary to any subliminal messages you may have heard from TV Licensing's PR harlots, you certainly do not require a TV licence to listen to radio.

Remember that anyone not requiring a TV licence is under no legal obligation to communicate or co-operate with TV Licensing at all. Ignore their letters. Say nothing and slam the door on their cold-calling goons.

TV Licensing and Ambulance Chasing

In one of the worst kept secrets since police named Jimmy Savile as "the most prolific child sexual offender of the 20th century" TV Licensing are currently conducting operations on the Isle of Man.

YouTube user manxharrymonk, who has no legal need for a TV licence, is expecting the goon snatch squad to call any day now. Concerned that they may be a bunch of ambulance chasers, who could potentially be seeking loose paving stones to accidentally trip over, he rang the TV Licensing call centre to enquire about the possibility of goon litigation.

Here's the video of the conversation:

A point to note is that the TV Licensing operator confirms at least twice that no-one is under any legal obligation at all to grant access to a goon.

TV Licensing Poster Art

A few days ago we launched the TV Licensing Blog Billboard Generator, which allows people to create their own rendition of TV Licensing's famous monochrome propaganda posters.

We've been overwhelmed with the number of people who have downloaded the generator and emailed us their efforts. Our friends at the TV Licence Resistance forums have also been feverishly working away at their designs.

Below, for your entertainment, are some of our favourites so far:

1. Columbo:

2. Have Legs, Won't Travel:

3. We're In The Money: 

4. TV Licensing Justice:

5. Mrs Doubtfire

6. No Bull

7. Protection Racket

8. Technology Matters:

9. We Know Where You Live:

If you've got your own version, please leave a link in the comments.

Alternative TV Licensing Animation

BAFTA award-winning animation collective BanTheBBC bring their unmistakable sense of humour and animation style to some of the more bizarre excuses that TV Licensing goons come up with to get into your home and to get you to sign their TVL178 form.

The law requires that a licence is obtained for any device that is "installed or used" for "receiving or recording a television programme at the same time (or virtually the same time) as it is received by members of the public".

Anyone who does not require a TV licence is under no obligation to communicate or cooperate with TV Licensing at all. Simply ignore their letters and doorstep salesmen.

Edit: TV Licensing's marketing harlots, Proximity (of deceitful mailshot fame), had this video pulled from YouTube very quickly. Someone has kindly re-uploaded it to LiveLeak, which has a bit more spine than YouTube. Yet again YouTube demonstrate how sackless it is when it comes to the BBC/TV Licensing and freedom of expression.

TV Licensing Blog Billboard Generator

"London is our database. Evaders will pay."

TV Licensing have come out with some absolute corkers over the years, but none more so than their famous black and white threatogram billboard posters of the early 2000s. You know the ones? The ones that stood thirty feet tall and said things like "There are five homes in Rock Street S3 without a TV licence".

Now, thanks to the marvels of modern technology, you can create your own fictional TV Licensing billboard posters. Download our nostalgic generator here (for satirical purposes only).

Here's an example to get your creative juices flowing:

TV Licensing Threaten Cancer Patient

We're rarely surprised at how low TV Licensing stoop in their relentless quest to generate revenue for the BBC, but even we had to take a second look at this article.

Eamonn Prunty, 73, from Omagh, bought a TV licence months ago, but that minor detail hasn't deterred TV Licensing from sending their monthly poison-pen letters demanding money with menaces.

Speaking to the Ulster Herald Eamonn, who is currently undergoing chemotherapy, said he "had enough to contend with" without being terrorised by TV Licensing's threat letters. He wrote a cheque to cover the £145.50 licence fee on 4th April. His bank confirmed that TV Licensing took payment a few days later, but that didn't stop them sending one of their rumbustious red-daubed threatograms at the end of April.

Eamonn continues: "I have received two letters since (paying) and they have threatened me with court action.

"They say they will send people out to the house. I'm receiving chemotherapy at Belfast City Hospital and this is causing me a lot of confusion – they are just harassing me."

It's a very familiar story.

In the interests of balance the Ulster Herald also spoke to one of TV Licensing's PR harlots: "We would like to apologise for any concern we may have caused Mr Prunty. We are keen to resolve this matter as quickly as possible, but need some more information from him to allow us to trace his payment.

"We have attempted to call Mr Prunty, and have written to him to ask him to get in touch with more information."

So there you have it, straight from the PR harlot's mouth: They have taken his money, but their database and payment systems are that crap that they don't know where it has gone!

TV Licensing Goons: Alternative Employment

Earlier this week TV Licensing, or rather their two-bit PR harlots, flooded newspapers across the land with what can only be described as cheap and fanciful tales about goon doorstep encounters.

TV Licensing PR is a bit of a joke really. It's not quite on the same farcical level as BBC transparency, but it's a joke nonetheless. We can imagine the scene in some seedy backstreet PR parlour. In the dimly-lit, damp-smelling basement some of TV Licensing's finest PR minds, arguably not a very high benchmark to achieve, are salivating at the prospect of their next tranche of recycled stories about £1000 fines or imaginary detector vans. They work in isolation, far-detached from the civilisation of the outside world or concept of respectable employment.

Somehow we have no difficulty imagining a conversation along the following lines: "I know what we can do. It's been a whole 6-months since we last put out a story about the excuses offered by licence-dodging scum. Let's prepare another story on the same theme".

Well, two can play at that game. Today, for your amusement, we publish our equally well-researched and corroborable list of jobs that our respondents consider better than being a TV Licensing goon. We're confident it has been prepared to the same exacting standards as the average TV Licensing press release:

• Stephen Hawking's voice coach
• Goonhilde's gynaecologist
• Boris Johnson's hairdresser
• Coronation Street script editor
• STD clinic scab sampler
• Jimmy Savile/Stuart Hall character witness
• Paris poop scooper
• Civil Enforcement Officer
• Sewer jet washer
• Rent boy
• Sigmoidoscope cleaner
• Justin Bieber's PR agent
• Police Community Support Officer
• Michael Barrymore's pool cleaner
• Outdoor River Dance teacher in Helmand province
• CSA investigator in Merseyside
• Heterosexual fluffer on a gay porn movie set
• Seal clubber
• Suicide booth tester

Those are just a few of the suggestions from our respondents. If you can think of any other careers that would be preferable to being a TV Licensing goon, please add them in the comments below.

Edit: Thanks to Taff, Roy Stirred-Oyster, jasovanooo and D Tec tor Van for the last minute additions.

Pork Pies: TV Licensing Are Master Bakers

TV Licensing's PR harlots were feverishly peddling their own "special" brand of news yesterday, with the publication of comical excuses allegedly given by licence-fee dodgers.

Excuses quoted by TV Licensing include the gems:

• "Apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen's dog so I didn't think I needed a TV licence"
• "Why would I need a TV licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I've got it"
• "Only my three-year-old son watches the TV. Can you take it out of the family allowance I receive for him? He watches it so he should pay"
• "I had not paid as I received a lethal injection"
• "I don't want to pay for a licence for a full year. Knowing my luck I'll be dead in six months and won't get value for money"
• "I have lost weight recently and had to buy new clothes. That's why I could not afford to buy a TV licence"

For some obscure reason they failed to mention the following excuses that we regularly hear:

• "I'm not funding an organisation that has employed paedophiles like Jimmy Savile and Stuart Hall"
• "I don't have a TV, so why should I be bullied into buying a licence?"
• "I only use my TV for DVDs, so I don't legally need a licence"
• "Why should I fund an organisation that is so reckless with taxpayer's money?"
• "The BBC is biased towards its own political and cultural agenda"
• "I already have a TV licence, so why are you hassling me?"

It wouldn't surprise us if TV Licensing had cobbled together this uncorroborated clap trap as a cheap attempt to get their name back in the news. Even more important to raise the profile of TV Licensing in the week that Stuart Hall, latest nonce of the BBC parish, was banged up for 15 months. Hall's conviction and imprisonment must surely mean thousands more cancelled TV licences, which the BBC will be seeking to mitigate at all costs.

TV Licensing press releases: The greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service.

Dealer Notification: The Tide is Turning on TV Licensing Vermin

Recent changes to the law make it even harder for the BBC's revenue generation bullies to track down TV licence evaders.

Despite their oft-mooted bullshit about detector vans and search warrants, TV Licensing's main weapon in the fight against fee dodgers is their massive database of invasive personal information. Most of the information on the database comes from visiting officers (goons) on the ground and TV dealers notifying the sale/lease of TV receiving equipment.

From the 25th June 2013 the Wireless Telegraphy Act 1967 is being repealed, which removes the requirement for TV dealers to grass up their customers to TV Licensing.

Previously, every business that sold or let TV receiving equipment was legally obliged to notify TV Licensing of the customer's name, whether the equipment was capable of colour or monochrome reception, and the address at which it was to be used. The dealer was liable for a fine of up to £10,000 for each piece of equipment they failed to notify the sale/lease of. In 2011, the last full year for which data is available, TV Licensing's registered dealers submitted some 12.5 million notifications, covering the sale/lease of everything from set top boxes to TV tuner cards. A significant number of these notifications were for non-TV receiving equipment that didn't need to be notified at all, including TV aerials and DVD players.

The old system was a complete and utter farce. For all dealers were legally obliged to notify TV Licensing of the customer's details, they were under no legal obligation to verify them at the time of transaction. As a result thousands of people, with complete legal impunity, gave false names and addresses at the point of sale. Unconfirmed reports suggest that the occupants of 10 Downing Street, London, SW1A 2AA bought several thousand pieces of TV receiving equipment in the last year alone. They're second only to the occupants of 100 Temple Street, Bristol, BS98 1TL who bought more TV receiving equipment than any other address in the country.

The Government estimates that it cost dealers about 10 pence for every notification they made, which placed a disproportionate financial burden on businesses at these times of austerity. Furthermore, as only 3% of the transactions notified actually related to unlicensed properties, the costs of administering the system far outweighed the revenue it generated.

In short the old system was costly, inefficient, outdated and unenforceable. It was a farcical invasion into people's private lives. That's probably why the BBC loved it so much.

From 25th June 2013 people buying/leasing TV receiving equipment will no longer be asked for their details. Those in the know haven't given their details for years anyway.

One more nail in the coffin of TV Licensing!

Edit: Sadly this change in the law means the sport of kings, goon fishing, has come to a premature demise. Keep those cameras charged ready for goon visits anyway!

TV Licensing: Allegations of Interview Foul Play

We have been approached by the legal occupier of a legitimately licence-free property, who had the recent misfortune of coming face to face with a TV Licensing goon.

The occupier, who we'll call Tony for sake of argument, claims to have moved into the property only three weeks before TV Licensing came-a-knocking. He hadn't even had the chance to unpack all of his boxes. According to Tony his TV was only set up to watch pre-recorded DVDs, which definitely does not require a TV licence.

Tony recounts his story on the TVLR forums: "On 12th November (2012) I got a visit from TVL.

"I hadn't discovered this website or heard of the tactics they use. Feeling I wasn't committing any offence I allowed him in. He looked at my TV and noticed it wasn't connected to any receiving equipment. He then asked me to connect it to my Sky box so he could check reception."

Tony claims to have followed the goon's instructions and connected the Sky box to his TV. As a result of Tony's naive compliance the goon, his eyes no doubt flickering with pound signs, gleefully announced that an offence had been committed. Fearful of legal consequences Tony signed up for a TV licence there and then, even though he claims not to have been receiving TV programmes until the goon's visit.

He continues with the worrying allegation: "Today I got a summons for the so-called offence of using a colour TV without a licence. When I checked the evidence, which consisted of the TVL (record of interview) form, I was shocked to see that information had been added after I signed it. The form now states that I admitted to have been watching TV without a licence for 18 days."

Should Tony's story be an accurate representation of his goon encounter, then you'd be forgiven for thinking he'd been lured into incriminating himself.

We have no way, at the moment, of verifying any alleged discrepancies between Tony's copy of the TVL178 and the evidential copy that the goon delivered to his bosses. That said, close examination of Tony's copy, shown above, reveals several contradictions and inconsistencies in what the goon has written. For a start, according to the goon's own timings, it took him only 3 minutes to enter Tony's property, question him, caution him, test his equipment and leave. Those timings seem a bit far-fetched. The goon also claimed that the TV was "on now", but contradicts that by saying no programmes were seen or heard. Even stranger, given the goon's claims that no programmes were seen or heard, is that he claims to have tested "Channels 1-5".

We have advised Tony of the inherent flaws in TV Licensing's evidence and are encouraging him to attend court and plead not guilty. Having heard several allegations of TV Licensing "creativity" in the past, we are inclined to believe Tony's chain of events. We're very much looking forward to the outcome of this case.

Edit (16/7/13): Case dropped by TV Licensing. No surprises there!

TV Licensing Blog on YouTube

A short post today to publicise the existence of the TV Licensing Blog YouTube channel.

TV Licensing, or rather their PR harlots, recently started their own channel, which is naturally of an inferior quality to those that exist already. Within the space of an hour a parody TV Licensing channel was published, which gathered significantly more support than the official version. TV Licensing appear to have exerted their self-perceived authority on YouTube to have that rival channel expunged from the web. It would be a bit bloody rich if they tried that strategy with us, because our channel has actually been around for a couple of years before their's. The fact that TV Licensing are now attempting to use YouTube as a weapon of mass propaganda, has reinforced our resolve to increase our impact.

We have two main reasons for developing our presence on YouTube. Firstly, we're very firmly of the opinion that any publicity is good publicity. The BBC would no doubt disagree with that sentiment, given the amount of their dirty linen that has recently been aired in public. According to a recently disclosed TV Licensing policy document they are concerned about our increasing influence on Twitter, so hopefully we can emulate that concern via YouTube. Secondly, TV Licensing arrogantly think they can censor YouTube. We hate censorship. It's a gutter trick employed only by backward communist states and organisations.

In our opinion, which is no doubt shared by a vast swathe of the UK population, it was BBC censorship and blind eye turning that allowed some of their past stars to predate on vulnerable children. Despite having video footage of literally dozens of hysterical TV Licensing goon encounters, we have decided to only upload those that genuinely show them breaking the rules. It is perfectly legal for the occupier of a property to film any TV Licensing visit. There is a legitimate public interest in any instances of aggression or half-truths peddled by TV Licensing goons on the doorstep. That being the case we challenge TV Licensing and YouTube to censor our channel. Any attempt to do so will simply reinforce our belief that they want to bury all references to the abysmal conduct of their people.

At the moment we are sharing videos produced by like-minded opponents of the BBC and TV Licensing. In future we hope to commission some of our own content. With a little bit of work we should be able to achieve a bigger audience share than BBC Four.

Please subscribe to the TV Licensing Blog YouTube channel.

TV Licensing Goon Top Trumps

We're diversifying here at the TV Licensing Blog.

Yesterday we described the exhilarating pursuit of goon fishing, which is guaranteed to provide hours of entertainment on those long, sunny, TV-free evenings.

Today we're introducing TV Licensing Goon Top Trumps, which is our own twist on the classic children's card game of a similar name. A few days ago our distinguished colleague TJoK devised a similar game of threatogram top trumps, which helped spur this variation.

Every card contains a photograph of one of TV Licensing's finest doorstep cold callers, which is shown alongside their fictional, albeit very close to reality, doorstep performance stats. Making a special appearance in the deck is none other than Smoggy "Rapist Goon" Gary Catterick, who features on our preview image above. Also plucked from the TV Licensing archives are some of their better known celebrities, including: Shakespeare-loving "Goon Master General" Ian Doyle; warbling Welsh "Elvis Tribute Goon" Steve Maitland Thomas; and scruffy-looking "Startled Goon" Adam Russell.

TV Licensing Goon Top Trumps is available to download free with our compliments.

Get it here and spread the word!

Goon Fishing

A new strategy against TV Licensing intimidation and harassment is sweeping the legally-licence-free corners of the nation.

A TV licence is only required for those properties where equipment is installed or used to receive TV programme services. In the eyes of the law, anyone who doesn't require a TV licence simply doesn't need to buy one, but in choosing that path the occupier faces a relentless stream of intimidation, accusation and innuendo by TV Licensing. A TV licence is not needed merely to own any type of equipment, whether it receives TV programme services or not.

Goon fishing, as the name suggests, involves dangling some bait in eager anticipation that TV Licensing, like the greedy bottom-dweller it is, will gobble it up.

Those unfamiliar with TV Licensing may question why anyone would wish to antagonise a seemingly formidable opponent? The answer is simple - the caustic tone of TV Licensing terrorises people, many of them vulnerable and disadvantaged, into buying a TV licence they have no legal need for. The BBC, which is the statutory Television Licensing Authority, is fully aware of the heinous tactics employed by TV Licensing but denies there is a problem.

You're unlikely to get your feet wet with goon fishing, but this is a sport only for those fearlessly dedicated to the legally-licence-free cause. The thrill of goon fishing is that you'll end up face to face with your prey, so it's not a pursuit for shy and retiring types. Only attempt goon fishing if you're prepared to follow-through and land your catch.

Before hooking a TV Licensing bloater it may be prudent to read our free ebook, TV Licensing Laid Bare. The book explains your legal rights when dealing with TV Licensing. In short, as you have no legal need for a TV licence, you are under no legal obligation to communicate or co-operate with TV Licensing at all. For all their goon will arrive with a pretentious air of pseudo-officialdom they have no more rights than any other visitor to your property.

Goon fishing involves the following steps:

Buy your bait

In this case the bait is an inexpensive piece of TV receiving equipment, which the retailer has to report the sale of to TV Licensing. You can get a cheap Freeview box for less than £20, but the genius of goon fishing is that you can return it for a refund shortly after purchasing it.

You are not legally obliged to give the retailer your correct details for TV Licensing, however, on this occasion, you should give your correct address and use a pseudonym. The more distinctive the pseudonym the better, as it will help you to identify the goon that visits your property later on.

The sale of TV receiving equipment has to be notified to TV Licensing at the end of the month, so try to purchase your bait in the last week of the month.

Take your bait home and keep it unopened in the original packaging. It is an offence to install or use your bait without a TV licence, so don't be tempted to try it out. Keep your receipt safe, as you will need it to return your bait later on.

Dangle your bait

The retailer will very considerately do this on your behalf. At the end of the month they will tell TV Licensing that a person at your address has purchased TV receiving equipment. TV Licensing will notice that the property is unlicensed and schedule a visit by one of their goons.

Return your bait (optional)

By the start of the new month your bait will have been presented to TV Licensing, so you'll probably have no further need for it. If you've followed the rules so far it should be in pristine condition, so return it to the retailer for a full refund. Alternatively give it away as a gift and spread a little goon fishing happiness!

Wait for a goon to bite

Have your camera charged up and waiting by the door. Sooner or later a TV Licensing goon is going to call to find out why "Mr C. Rapita" has purchased TV receiving equipment when their property is unlicensed. As soon as someone addresses you by your distinctive pseudonym you'll know that TV Licensing has taken the bait. Time to start reeling.

Film your catch

A lot of anglers like to keep a permanent record of their best catches, so be sure to get some video of the freshly landed goon flapping around on your doorstep. The vivid colours of their pouting face and rippling underbelly will undoubtedly make a memorable keepsake. For legal reasons the use of keep nets and barbed hooks is strongly discouraged. It is perfectly legal to film anyone who visits your property, however undesirable they may be. If the goon is following TV Licensing rules they should slink back into the gutter at this stage, but your encounter doesn't need to end there.

There are a lot of fake goons out there, because even the most unskilled of Blue Peter presenters can make a convincing TV Licensing ID card in less than 30 seconds. I'm not quite sure why anyone would be sad enough to Walt-it-up as a TV Licensing goon, but there are some sick attention seekers in the world. That being the case, you may choose to follow the suspect goon in an effort to verify their identity. If they are a charlatan (ignoring the obvious fact they probably are anyway) then you'll be doing a public service by passing their description and vehicle registration number to the police. As the BBC is a shining beacon of morality and legal correctness, they would surely approve of such community-mindedness: they are, after all, assisting with a number of investigations into the "dubious" conduct of their own staff and associates. If you do decide to follow the goon you should remain completely passive, keep the camera rolling and maintain a safe distance. You must avoid, at all costs, any accusation that you were harassing or intimidating the goon. They're happy to dish it out, but when the boot's on the other foot they squeal louder than a teenager pinned in the corner of Jimmy Savile's dressing room.

Remember that it was TV Licensing who chose to visit you. You did not invite them and, as you still don't use TV receiving equipment, they have no legal business whatsoever at your property. In the eyes of the law they have no more rights than unsolicited God-botherers or people selling lucky heather. You are under no legal obligation at all to communicate or co-operate with TV Licensing at all.

Share your catch

Upload your video to YouTube, as you're legally entitled to do. Add some humorous captions if you wish.

TV Licensing's policy on goons being filmed can be downloaded here.

If you've found this article useful please share it with your friends and help spread the word.

Good luck and happy fishing!

Edit 3/7/13: In light of a recent change to the law, we have now posted updated details about goon fishing.

TV Licensing Blog: Normal Service Resumes

We apologise for the temporary break in transmission, but we've been spending the past few months recharging our batteries and researching our future stories.

In our absence the BBC has been doing a tremendous job of discrediting itself, so there's plenty for us to get our teeth into. Allegations of BBC bullying, backhanders, cover ups and fresh sex abuse scandals have surfaced since our last article back in January. You'd think with all the negative publicity surrounding the noncegate scandal the BBC would be trying desperately hard to get its house in order. Apparently not.

If this is your first visit to the TV Licensing Blog, please be sure to read our About page and download our free ebook, TV Licensing Laid Bare.

Tomorrow we'll be publishing details about the new sport of goon fishing, so please tell your friends and stay tuned!