Culture Secretary: "I'm Afraid I'm Announcing Today that I'm Shutting the BBC Down"

About a fortnight ago the recently anointed Culture Secretary, Lisa Nandy, visited BBC Media City at Salford Quays.

During her walkaround of the site she met mischievous CBBC character Hacker T Dog, who she accused of previously making her young son cry.

With a glint in her eye and her usual gawking facial expression, Nandy told Hacker: "I'm afraid I'm announcing today that I'm shutting the BBC down"

Quick as a flash, Hacker retorted: "Yay! It worked".

Nandy isn't quite at the stage where she is really thinking of euthanising the national broadcaster, but she will need to take desperate life support measures in order to secure its continued survival.

Last year around half a million TV licences were cancelled by people ditching the idiot's lantern altogether or by adopting alternative, legally-licence-free methods of viewing. As a result the BBC is hemorrhaging funds left, right and centre.

In the wake of the Jimmy Savile and Stuart Hall sexual abuse scandals, the BBC continues to be dogged by controversy. If it's not jug-eared sports presenters spouting political bias, it's flagship news presenters stashing sick indecent images of children.

The Corporation's current charter period draws to an end on 31st December 2027. It is widely expected that negotiations will begin shortly into how the BBC is funded beyond then.

Until now the BBC has fought tooth and nail to protect the TV licence fee. Every year, irrespective of how woeful its output or sordid its scandal, the BBC receives the best part of £4 billion of TV licence revenue on a silver plate. It gets those funds simply because it always has done, by virtue of being the BBC.

But people are becoming increasingly wise to the BBC's putrid operation and the unfairness of its funding model.

For the first time ever it is likely that the BBC will concede that the TV licence fee, which is currently losing it £80 million in revenue every year, is not the best option moving forward.

A subscription model would be fairest for the viewing public. If the BBC's creative output is as brilliant as it claims, it should have no difficulty in persuading people to subscribe. But of course the BBC knows, deep down, that given the choice people would rather pay for Netflix instead.

Having held out the public begging bowl for the last century, I expect the BBC will want to continue in the same vein. For that reason, I suspect the BBC will argue hard for funding from general taxation - either a special new communications tax levied on every household in the country, or an increased rate of VAT on communications related products and services.

The BBC will want to avoid having to work for its money, unlike its commercial rivals.

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Further anti-BBC reading:

• Is The True Or Did You Hear It On The BBC?, by David Sedgwick (aff. link)
• The BBC: Myth of a Public Service, by Tom Mills (aff. link)