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Saturday 7 November 2015

Yank Comedian Belittles TV Licensing Goons



More side-splitting entertainment from TV Licensing this week, with the release of a series of videos proclaiming how oppressed its minimum wage, door-knocking cannon fodder are.

We have previously commented on the irony of TV Licensing producing videos condemning the "bullying" of its miscreant goons, when many of those goons are actually the most prolific bullies in the school yard.

It is a fact, although conveniently forgotten by TV Licensing, that on a pro-rata basis its goons are far more likely to commit acts of intimidation, fraud, theft or assault than fall victim to them. Over the years we have seen numerous cases - far too many to count - of TV Licensing goons acting dishonestly on the doorstep.

Every day TV Licensing goons hammer on the doors of thousands of legitimately licence-free properties, with only on thing on their minds: how to sell the occupier a TV licence. If they can't sell the occupier a TV licence, then they'll often settle for getting them done for TV licence evasion instead.


TV Licensing goons, who are employed by Capita Business Services Ltd, are required to achieve at least one "Code 8" prosecution statement every hour of the working week. As we've previously discussed, we consider that target nigh on impossible to achieve by a scrupulous goon playing to the rules. Alarmingly, TV Licensing goons face disciplinary action if they fail to nab the required number of "evaders", which sometimes skews their interpretation of the legislation and, indeed, the truth.

Anyhow, the focus of today's post are the recent videos starring reformed alky-turned-funnyman Rob Delaney, who fortunately has a Wikipedia page. The premise is that three TV Licensing goons - Anser Hussain, Phillip Carvill and Chris Morgan - go about their "normal" doorstep routine, which is then reconstructed and evaluated in the classroom. Delaney throws in a few "witty" (or rather "shitty") one-liners for good measure. 

We should add at this stage that contrary to the image TV Licensing is trying to portray, none of the goons depicted are regular door-knockers. They are actually Area Managers, who have no doubt been specially groomed for the role. Carvill in particular is a regular TV Licensing pin up, having previously featured in promotional photographs (like the one shown above).


The opening line of the video above shows Delaney knocking at a door and gleefully announcing "Hello, I'm from TV Licensing". He appears blissfully unaware, as a newcomer to these shores, that TV Licensing goons never volunteer their identity and rarely confirm it at the first time of asking. Indeed, recent video footage shows some TV Licensing goons point blank deny their affiliation with the BBC's militant revenue generation arm.

At various stages of the video Delaney belittles the three bemused goons by teasing their appearance and mannerisms. Delaney also takes the opportunity to ridicule the notion of private property and flippantly suggests that a passing member of the public meant there was "clearly a criminal element" living nearby.

In another of the videos Delaney defends the continuation of the TV licence fee, stating: "I've lived here for nine months now and British television is so far superior to American television. I'm worried that if the BBC was damaged or harmed in anyway - for example, by the licence fee being taken away - that the UK would just turn into a grey, rainy version of Florida".

Several alternative versions of the video have appeared on YouTube and TV Licensing has been quick to file copyright claims to have them removed. In a worrying development, TV Licensing has also asked YouTube to remove videos that do not include any of its copyrighted material.

Remember that anyone who does not legally require a TV licence has no legal business with TV Licensing. We advise anyone in that situation to ignore TV Licensing completely. Bin TV Licensing letters and keep their goons out in the cold.

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