The BBC has just unveiled its latest weapon in the battle against TV licence dodging scum.
The gold coloured handheld device, which is specially designed to celebrate the success of the GB Olympics Team, can pinpoint an unlicensed TV to within a few centimeters. It operates on standard AA batteries, has virtually no warm up time and takes as little as 20 seconds to get a positive result. The portable detector fits discreetly in the operator's trouser pocket and includes special buzz reduction technology to maintain the element of surprise.
The BBC boasts that the technology, which was created by their own crack team of inventors, can distinguish between two TV sets either side of a party wall. They remain characteristically tight-lipped about how the device actually works, but it is believed to contain a stimulating oscillator that moves rapidly in close proximity to a TV.
The BBC would not comment on unconfirmed reports that the Head of Revenue Management had personally tested the device and given it the green light.
The BBC would not comment on unconfirmed reports that the Head of Revenue Management had personally tested the device and given it the green light.
5 comments:
This inserts a whole new area of anal retentive abilities that the TVL sex pests can take up.
Neil.
Remarkable how on all of the YouTube videos that star the goons I have never seen one of them holding such a device, green, gold or with brass knobs on it.
All they carry is a pda which cannot detect live signals.
Also in the visiting procedures manual there is no mention of the handheld detector to be carried whilst on duty.
Strange that eh?
Not that strange TJoK. The use of these devices, if they do really exist, has to be authorised under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000. The BBC has previously confirmed that such an authorisation has to be personally signed by either the Head of Sales & Marketing (Peter Kirk) or Head of Revenue Management (Pipa Doubtfire) on the TVLMT.
It therefore follows that the use of these devices is a very rare event.
I think it works on guilt.
People are supposed to feel guilty that they don't pay for a licence and that they are using an unlicensed TV in public.
Got that, Peter, GUILT!
They need to trash the TV detector vans and bring over that person from USPBS who was haranguing people for not supporting Public Broadcasting.
Maybe they need to snap up the US public broadcasting model and stop most of the programmes while they demand money from you.
Or they could allow for people like me to sponsor people like you!
I have no need for sponsorship, as I am correctly licensed (e.g. watch TV and have a valid TV licence). That fact must be a real pisser for the BBC, as they'd undoubtedly enjoy harassing me as much as they do the legally licence free. In fact I suspect they'd enjoy harassing me even more!
As I said on my About page: That I comply with the law is no way condoning the sinister and deceitful tactics that the BBC and TV Licensing employ in the name of licence fee enforcement.
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