Pages

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Looters Beware: London Is Our Database

In the wake of the recent London riots TV Licensing has issued this important reminder to local residents:

If you've recently stolen a television and you're not correctly licensed you must buy a TV licence now.

Television licence evasion is a very serious offence, which we take a very dim view of. If you do it you'll have us to deal with, never mind the police.

While the vast majority of people in the UK pay their licence fee, we have to be firm with those who try to get away without paying.

Our database has the address of every unlicensed looter in London. Our massive fleet of detector vans, which patrol the streets in ruthless pursuit of licence fee dodgers, are so advanced they can detect a television remote control, at a range of 200 metres, even when the batteries are flat.

Unless you want us to send the boys around, or receive a hefty £1,000 fine, you'd better visit our website and buy a licence now.

TV Licensing: It's all in the database.

2 comments:

  1. Marvellous what those detector vans are capable of!

    My friend's brother got a visit recently by goons claiming they could detect a television being used. He ushered them in, put his hands up and showed them his telly.
    An old tube set sat there, filled with goldfish swimming around merrily.
    :-))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very droll - love it!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for making a comment. We love to hear your opinion on what we write, be it positive or negative. Unfortunately, due to previous abuse of our comment system, it is necessary for us to approve each comment before it is published. We will only approve comments that are well composed. Please only enter your comment once and wait patiently while we approve it. Finally, apologies for Blogger's horrible Captcha!