Exclusive: Inside The TV Detector Van

Pah, who was it that said TV detector vans were a myth concocted by the BBC to fool unsuspecting members of the public into buying a TV licence?

Who could believe the BBC, that shining beacon of ethical broadcasting, could employ such underhand tactics? Sure, they've made a few mistakes over the years - ripping off viewers by fixing telephone competitions, bankrolling the likes of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, employing the man who thumped Ron Sinclair - but surely they'd never fib about the existence of TV detector vans?

Well apparently not, as this photograph of a TV detector van proves once and for all.

According to my sources the inside of the vehicle is lined with a special type of plastic. It is a plastic so secret that even the people making it, who work in isolation from the outside world, don't know its true colour.

Furthermore, every surface of the van is covered with the BBC's patented "inverted dimple" technology, which allows for the amplification of detected TV signals. Specially designed by the BBC's crack squad of technicians, the "inverted dimples" enable TV Licensing field operatives to detect a TV remote control at 200 metres even when the batteries are flat.

And to think I was at the front of the queue saying it was all a big fat TV Licensing con... who'd have thought it?!

Edit: If you're reading this article then you might also like to see the article where we forced the BBC to confirm that evidence from their detector vans had NEVER been used in court.