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Thursday, 2 March 2017

Capita Boss Quits Amid Profit Slump and TV Licensing Scandal

Andy Parker, the Chief Executive of Capita, has decided to step down from the outsourcing giant after a profit warning sent shares tumbling to a ten year low.

The monobrowed bloater, famed for his wardrobe of ill fitting suits, was caught like a rabbit in headlights earlier this week, with the news that one of his managers, Ian Doyle, had confirmed to an undercover journalist that some TV Licensing goons really are the greedy, scheming, unscrupulous shitbags that we've been claiming they are for the last decade.

Despite making millions from poor, vulnerable types wheeled into court over TV licence evasion, it appears that Capita's pre-tax profits slumped by almost 20% last year. The incompetent jack of all trades had to scrape by with a mere £475m in profits, compared to the £614m it made in the previous year.

Capita's woes have caused its share price to tumble from 587 pence at the open of trading to 558 pence when the markets closed. At one point during the day shares slumped as low as 502 pence, which represented a fall of more than 10 per cent. Capita shares are worth around half the value they were a year ago.

Parker has denied that the recent TV Licensing scandal played any part in his departure.

"We are investigating the allegations and we take any allegations of inappropriate behaviour seriously", he said.

"There were some silly things said and bravado but I’m not going to pre-judge the investigation. Our relationship with the BBC is very strong."

Capita Business Services currently holds the BBC TV Licensing operations contract, which encompasses the majority of administration and enforcement work.

Parker will stay in role until the Autumn as the company's board hunts for his replacement.

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