It is hard to imagine a song that better epitomises TV Licensing than this rendition of Miles Betterman's The Dickhead Song.
Perrier winning comedian Miles has very kindly allowed our distinguished colleague D Tec tor Van from TVLR forums to add some TV Licensing goon snaps to the video. The original humorous ditty is available to download.
We think the goon visuals set off the tune very nicely!
Altogether now:
You came into my life and tried to do me wrong
So in return for that I have sent you this song
It tells you what I think and how I feel about you
So take a seat and listen up cos every single word is true
Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through
The way you behaved was a total disgrace
I'd never grow tired of punching your face
You think that putting me down lifts you higher
I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire
You think you're better than me well you're not my friend
I'll get further in life than you in the end
You're nothing you're worthless just dirt on my shoe
Wherever you go whatever you do people will sing this song to you
Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through
God will punish you cos you reap what you sow
You're a vile individual from head to toe
Nasty to the bone unpleasant to the core
I shall drink champagne when you are no more
If I never see your face again that's too soon
I've never met anyone so suited to this tune
I hope your friends desert you and your health is poor
This is what I think you are 1 2 3 4
Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, I hope you'll soon be dead
And this is payback time for what you put me through
I wouldn't even give you the steam from my piss
As far as I'm concerned you can swivel on this
You're simply jealous of me but I couldn't care less
Cos I have all the qualities you'll never possess
I'd hate to go through life as you 24/7
Cos people like you don't end up in Heaven
You will rot in Hell that's where you belong
And when you get there they'll be singing this song
You're a dickhead, such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, we're all glad you're dead
And so is everyone that you ever knew
Dickhead, you're such a dickhead
And everybody knows it everyone but you
You're a dickhead, everybody's said
I hope you liked the song so, SCREW YOU!
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