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This blog is to highlight the unjust persecution of legitimate non-TV users at the hands of TV Licensing. These people do not require a licence and are entitled to live without the unnecessary stress and inconvenience caused by TV Licensing's correspondence and employees.

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Friday, 10 October 2014

TV Licensing Ask Help Script

The latest copy of TV Licensing's Ask Help Script has been released under the Freedom of Information Act.

WhatDoTheyKnow.com requestor Nath asked the BBC to provide the most recent version of the thousand-page document, which is effectively an idiot's guide for TV Licensing call centre staff. It contains a selection of stock responses to nearly every TV Licensing query you can imagine.

Of particular interest is the section about complaints, which begins with a list of keywords designed to help the call handler recognise dissatisfied customers. The insightful guide explains that if the caller uses terms like "incompetent", "harassment", "disgraceful" or "offensive" they are expressing their displeasure at TV Licensing. Either that or they are reciting their personal qualities as they apply for a TV Licensing goon job.

You can download the August 2014 version of the TV Licensing Ask Help Script here.


Maryon Jeane said...

Well I hate to be anythingist, but this does rather paint a clear picture of the level of intelligence employed at office and not just goon level at TV Licensing, doesn't it?...

Anonymous said...

And for your next challenge, we want a recording of a telephone conversation with a capita droid with every complaint keyword used in alphabetical order in one sentence. :-)

Fred Bear said...

The document provides a fascinating glimpse into the mindset of these people.Note on page 320 they invent the category of 'unlicenced customer' to justify unwanted cold calling of the legally licence-free.

I had a bit of a chuckle when I read page 241 (how to deal with undercover journalists)- the phrase 'Do not, under any circumstances, give a personal opinion on any topic other than the weather' stands out.

In pages 315-317 you can see that their 'advisors' try to get people to sign up to payment by direct debit even if the 'customer' doesn't want to pay by that method. For example, if you say “I don’t like DD.” they immediately try to sign you up for DD.

If you tell them you don't have a TV or don't live at the address, they still try to sell you a TV Licence!